this was originally meant for my private blog, but I guess I have to let it out.
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Yesterday, we had a GP comprehension test about Choices and Fate. Pretty interesting passage choice, don't you think? One point in particular, from Parks' essay, struck me. He wrote that most people blame their faults and outcomes on their circumstances, using their upbringing and environment as an excuse - instead of facing the music and admitting that it was owing to their choice that such a fault happened.
Incidentally, I experienced something like this today.
Here's a rundown on my "circumstances":
I've been sick for the past two days, coming down with flu and sore throat and all that headache
I have been underperforming in my studies lately, and hence the stress that I'm feeling has been extremely overwhelming
The people around me (friends and family) have been experiencing tumultuous and rocky emotion
Now that the 411 has been presented, here's the "fault" / "outcome":
I failed my dance audition.
Now you may think that it's no big deal since it was just "an audition", but this is an SYC audition. The audition that determines where your placing will be, whether you'll even be part of the dance or not.
And I failed terribly.
Do you know what the worst thing is? I failed because my dance instructor felt that I didn't put in enough effort and failed to meet his expectations. That's one of the worst reasons to fail. Both you and the other party know that you indeed have the potential to perform even better, but you didn't. To top it off, being an exco doesn't help either.
The shame and embarrassment that you experience is downright shitty, with everyone casting sympathetic looks at you because of your failure. You yourself are aware that they don't exactly feel sad because they made it. And they give you looks of pity just to make you feel better. But it backfires all the time. It just makes the hurt party feel even worse.
So is it because of my choice? Or my fate? Was it because I chose to go to school today just because I didn't want to miss the audition - and that led to me under-performing? Or was it just fate - that I have to fall sick at such a crucial period? I don't know who or what to blame anymore.
this was originally meant for my private blog, but I guess I have to let it out.
-
Yesterday, we had a GP comprehension test about Choices and Fate. Pretty interesting passage choice, don't you think? One point in particular, from Parks' essay, struck me. He wrote that most people blame their faults and outcomes on their circumstances, using their upbringing and environment as an excuse - instead of facing the music and admitting that it was owing to their choice that such a fault happened.
Incidentally, I experienced something like this today.
Here's a rundown on my "circumstances":
I've been sick for the past two days, coming down with flu and sore throat and all that headache
I have been underperforming in my studies lately, and hence the stress that I'm feeling has been extremely overwhelming
The people around me (friends and family) have been experiencing tumultuous and rocky emotion
Now that the 411 has been presented, here's the "fault" / "outcome":
I failed my dance audition.
Now you may think that it's no big deal since it was just "an audition", but this is an SYC audition. The audition that determines where your placing will be, whether you'll even be part of the dance or not.
And I failed terribly.
Do you know what the worst thing is? I failed because my dance instructor felt that I didn't put in enough effort and failed to meet his expectations. That's one of the worst reasons to fail. Both you and the other party know that you indeed have the potential to perform even better, but you didn't. To top it off, being an exco doesn't help either.
The shame and embarrassment that you experience is downright shitty, with everyone casting sympathetic looks at you because of your failure. You yourself are aware that they don't exactly feel sad because they made it. And they give you looks of pity just to make you feel better. But it backfires all the time. It just makes the hurt party feel even worse.
So is it because of my choice? Or my fate? Was it because I chose to go to school today just because I didn't want to miss the audition - and that led to me under-performing? Or was it just fate - that I have to fall sick at such a crucial period? I don't know who or what to blame anymore.
Situated in the sunny island of Singapore, Jolene recently (is 2 years considered recent?) graduated from university and is now working in a job she never expected herself to hold. Besides having frequent quarter-life crises, she also indulges in video games, anime, and aesthetic korean girls documenting their life in vlogs.
Although not as eloquent with words, she still aims to try her best to bring across her thoughts to the Internet.
