In case you were wondering- no, that's not "effed up feelings". That's "mixed feelings" instead.
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Hi all! I'm not too sure when was my last update (can't really be bothered to check), but yes, my mid year examinations were just over yesterday. Can I hear a hip with a hooray? I guess not. You're probably just staring at the screen of your device giving me a half-dead look. It's okay. All JC kids are like that. Including me. Even though I may sound upbeat, I'm honestly just staring blankly at the screen while typing this. No emotion showing. JC kid strikes once again.
So anyway, I'm not here to talk to you about how absolutely amazing the midyears has been to me, and thanking my friends, family, teachers et cetera. No. That's not my purpose. My purpose is pretty selfish. I'm writing this post to myself, for myself and yes by myself. (that's some cliche shit going on there)
I know that I haven't been the model student of the month, let alone the past year. And I want to change that. Not because I hate not being the model student or anything, really. It's more like I kind of hate myself? It's as if I have zero, zilch, nada self-discipline and it is irking me so bad I've started to despise myself.
Yeah.
And remember how I said midyears ended yesterday? Guess what? I got back TWO papers today. I'm smiling like a jolly fool right here. Needless to say, my grades were bullshit and hence I have mixed feelings. A hugeeee part of me is seriously nonchalant about it and just couldn't care less or give two shits about it, whereas the smaller part of me - the one that's still pretty much sane and rationale - tells me that I ought to worry about it and pull my socks up. And this kind of scares me because that huge part? It's devouring the rationale part right now bit by bit and basically rendering it almost nonexistent by the end of the June Holidays. If I don't buck up now or wake my senses, it is going to be too bloody late for me to regret and repent.
I'm not sure if any one of you out there shares the same sentiments as me. I went into the examination hall feeling 40% prepared. This is definitely not how I want to feel when I walk into the A Levels. So it is time.
It is time to wake up and pour cold water over me, to tell myself that it is not going to work out if I sit my ass here on the head behind the laptop screen tippity-typpity away about my miserable life. No. If anyone reading this feels me, then I guess it's time for me to say the same to you: WAKE UP. We are all in the same boat. Sink or stay afloat? It is our choice.
In case you were wondering- no, that's not "effed up feelings". That's "mixed feelings" instead.
-
Hi all! I'm not too sure when was my last update (can't really be bothered to check), but yes, my mid year examinations were just over yesterday. Can I hear a hip with a hooray? I guess not. You're probably just staring at the screen of your device giving me a half-dead look. It's okay. All JC kids are like that. Including me. Even though I may sound upbeat, I'm honestly just staring blankly at the screen while typing this. No emotion showing. JC kid strikes once again.
So anyway, I'm not here to talk to you about how absolutely amazing the midyears has been to me, and thanking my friends, family, teachers et cetera. No. That's not my purpose. My purpose is pretty selfish. I'm writing this post to myself, for myself and yes by myself. (that's some cliche shit going on there)
I know that I haven't been the model student of the month, let alone the past year. And I want to change that. Not because I hate not being the model student or anything, really. It's more like I kind of hate myself? It's as if I have zero, zilch, nada self-discipline and it is irking me so bad I've started to despise myself.
Yeah.
And remember how I said midyears ended yesterday? Guess what? I got back TWO papers today. I'm smiling like a jolly fool right here. Needless to say, my grades were bullshit and hence I have mixed feelings. A hugeeee part of me is seriously nonchalant about it and just couldn't care less or give two shits about it, whereas the smaller part of me - the one that's still pretty much sane and rationale - tells me that I ought to worry about it and pull my socks up. And this kind of scares me because that huge part? It's devouring the rationale part right now bit by bit and basically rendering it almost nonexistent by the end of the June Holidays. If I don't buck up now or wake my senses, it is going to be too bloody late for me to regret and repent.
I'm not sure if any one of you out there shares the same sentiments as me. I went into the examination hall feeling 40% prepared. This is definitely not how I want to feel when I walk into the A Levels. So it is time.
It is time to wake up and pour cold water over me, to tell myself that it is not going to work out if I sit my ass here on the head behind the laptop screen tippity-typpity away about my miserable life. No. If anyone reading this feels me, then I guess it's time for me to say the same to you: WAKE UP. We are all in the same boat. Sink or stay afloat? It is our choice.
Situated in the sunny island of Singapore, Jolene recently (is 2 years considered recent?) graduated from university and is now working in a job she never expected herself to hold. Besides having frequent quarter-life crises, she also indulges in video games, anime, and aesthetic korean girls documenting their life in vlogs.
Although not as eloquent with words, she still aims to try her best to bring across her thoughts to the Internet.
